Monday, June 01, 2009

Allbran Magenniss – Cereal Politician


An Coinin Glic

You couldn’t help but stare back at the strange face with one eye half shut which challenged one from a lamp-post on Dominic Street.

It wasn’t the poor tailoring of a jacket nor the cheap mismatched tie but the message, ‘When he wins, You win,’ which caused ‘An Coinin Glic’ to pause.



Surely it couldn’t be true? Here was a total stranger promising ‘An Coinin Glic’ a share in whatever he won.

But being the cautious animal ‘An Coinin’ decided to investigate further.

Without much ado ‘An Coinin Glic’ made his way to the SDLP Headquarters and made known his interest in Allbran’s offer. I was greeted with great courteousy but it was pointed out to me with much politeness that the man’s name was ‘Alban’. Suitably chastened never the less I enquired was it true that if I voted for ‘Alban’ I was in line to ‘win’ something.

The kind lady smiled and said that I had got it wrong; the fact of the matter was that I would win only when ‘Alban’ was successful in the forthcoming election.

I then enquired if only those who voted for ‘Alban’ would share in the winnings in the event i.e. of ‘Alban’ winning.

‘Not at all’ says she, ‘Everyone wins!’

At this stage ‘An Coinin Glic’ became slightly concerned. It appeared to me that if everyone wins then there would be very little winnings for each to receive. However, I could recognise that there was probably an ‘Equality’ issue at work and I was prepared to buy into that.

While I didn’t wish to appear excessively greedy I thought it prudent if it was at all possible to let me know, in very broad terms, what was the likely sum, rounded to the nearest tenner, that I was likely to receive if ‘Alban’ pulled it off.

The kind lady was beginning to become quite agitated but nevertheless composed herself sufficiently to reply that I had probably misunderstood what was going on. In point of fact I would receive nothing if ‘Alban’ won. However I would experience an inner glow of happiness and my children and my children’s children would live in a world transformed by ‘Allbran’s’ enlightened leadership.

Now ‘An Coinin Glic’ is not a bitter man, but he left that office severely disillusioned. The promise of great wealth had proved to be an illusion.


All the poor ‘Coinin; can say to you is, ‘Don’t believe all you read on election posters!’



7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Maith thú! A Choinín!

lol

ár mbua, do bhua!!! lol

An SDLP ag dul síos ...arís!

de Brún Uimhir 1!!

Oisín said...

No that pictures just wrong.

Anonymous said...

chan fheicimse féin rud ar bith "glic" leis and alt sin. chuirfeadh an íomhá déistín ar ag chuid is mó de do léithreoirí agus fáilte. oh yeah, agus dála an scéil inis do gerry nach bhfuil gaeilge aige! tá sé uafásach éisteacht leisean ag mí-fhoghrú na teangaidh sa dóigh sin! "yen ah gee an gu no" catch urselves on! lig anuas í

Anonymous said...

Agree with Oisin for once, the picture is wrong!
michael

Anonymous said...

Allbran ;)

High in Fibre - No Subtance ;)

Anonymous said...

Would rather look at the shit than look at him anyday!!

Anonymous said...

cut the crap and take the picture off