Declare your Hand Mr Tayto!!

Gerry Junior

As I sat on board a train the other day I tucked into the most delighful packet of Tayto spring onion. Each crisp bringing with it more taste and joy than the previous, until it happened......



I don't know if it was the frame of mind I was in or that I just had an epiphany but all became clear at last.

I gazed upon the 'Norn Iron' football kit green coloured crisp bag, at the bottom right hand corner to see a Potato headed 'Orange' man.

Mr Tayto is an Orange Man!!

I couldn't believe my eyes, I studied it closely but yes it all matched. Bowler Hat - tick, white gloves - tick, and a put on smile - tick.

Hardly the etiquette of your normal northern nationalist.

I was shocked at this unnerving discovery. Having grown up with this 'friendly' character presenting advertisements, adorning posters and chrisp packets. Was it an Orange conspiracy?

And during the course of the last 26 County General Election, posters dotted the lenght and breadth of the free state urging people to 'Vote Mr Tayto No.1'. Is this a prelude to an Orange invasion?

On learning of my discovery, I immediately wrote a letter to Tayto head quarters firstly congratulating them in their top of the range crisps but secondly at their overtly political mascot, Mr Tayto of Orange.

I have requested they declare their hand on this one, and divulge information as to which branch of the secret society old Mr Tayto is a member.

Obviously as we are moving into a shared future, Gerry Junior can live with an Orange Mr Tayto, If they are willing to have a Chucky Mrs Tayto - with GAA top, nice green skirt and irish dancing shoes.

Parity of esteem and all that!