Christmas Time for Ógra!

Gerry Junior

According to a recent survey by Deloitte, the international consultants, the Irish will be the number one spenders this Christmas among eurozone member states.

I would enter a rant about capitalism, neo-colonialism and the false sense of wealth created by Tony the 'Celtic' Tiger, but instead i'd like to focus my attentions towards slagging Ógra.


If the Irish are the number one spender's I'm wondering what the number one gift the bearded one (no not Gerry) will be delivering to Ógra cumann this Christmas.

Starting in the capital (and no McNally I'm not referring to Carrickmore), Dublin, I anticipate a heavy purchase of the Communist Manifesto, fun galore with Karl Marx piling out of all those jackeen stockings this year.

Turning my attention to West Belfast, the good old gold chain is a certainty for our comrades in the Turf and the Murph.

West Tyrone, well thats too obvious, an IRA T-shirt in one stocking and a pair of sand boots under the tree.

Armagh, a bag of fertiliser, (for the grass stupid!)

Kilkenny, a gaelic football, I know they'll struggle with that one.

Monaghan, a pair of scissors for the land of long haired Ógra, apart from one bald activist.

Lurgan, champagne, well not quite, a local speciality known famously as Lurgan Champagne - aka Buckfast.

I can just imagine all the Derry 'wans' adoringly weari ng their new 'I Love Mark Durkan' T-Shirts.

In North Antrim, Santy will be throwing Ulster Scot dictionaries down the chimney or you never no he might even throw in a visitor centre courtesy of the DUP and chief elf Sweeney.

Dundalk will be stocking up on the soon to be released 'Eugene Garvey - Christmas in El Paso.' The quivering angelic voice is sure to be an instant hit. Spiral eat your heart out.

The Ógra in Cork will obviously be putting Independence as top of their Christmas list but not for Ireland, for Cork itself.

South Down and Drogheda will be hoping for a few male activists from Santy's sack because they have the huge dilemma of having an overwhelming number of female members.

And to finish this little slag fest, good aul Cavan, we'll you know what they say about Cavan people, miserable b******s.. A lump of coal and a mandarin orange if their lucky.

Nollaig Shona from Gerry Junior!